Western Smack Down

Historicon 2003

Rules & Scenario Information

HEDLEY LAMARR: "Men! You are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out run-away decency in the West. Now, you will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for best supporting actor. "

Introduction: "Western Smack Down" is an every man for himself Wild West fight set in a large saloon and gambling hall. The scenario attempts to recreate the goofy comedy of the film "Blazing Saddles." Have a few laughs with your fellow gamers then ruthlessly shoot them in the back. Each player controls a team of four outlaws and competes to accumulate the most victory points. Stealing various items, killing opponents, and accomplishing different tasks will score points for your team. Opposition comes from rival players, the saloon employees, and other law and order organizations.

This scenario was run for the first time at Historicon 2003. It works best with 6 - 10 players. The game can be completed in three hours. The action takes place in a 24" x 28" saloon and gambling emporium. Check out the Building a Saloon section of this report for information on how to build it. The scenario is based on a Pirate tavern brawl game I created called "Caribbean Smack Down," which was based on a similar game run by Buck Surdu using his "Blood & Swash" rules. Development of this game was greatly assisted by Mark Niedwick, who played in my pirate game and provided many good ideas for this western version. All quotes are from the movie "Blazing Saddles."

Hedley Lamarr: "I want rustlers, cutthroats, murders, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglars, horse thieves, bull-dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, sh**-kickers, and Methodists!"

Creating Characters: Each player controls four outlaws. I like to give the players more than four to choose from so they can pick their favorites. Try to divide the figures so that each team has something in common, to make it easier to identify the factions after the fighting starts. The factions I use include: the Red Sombreros (Mexican banditos), Chinese, Hole in the Head Gang (bandanas over their faces), Dusters, Southerners, Indians, Cowboys (ten gallon hats and chaps), and the Young Guns (bowler hats). The four figures each player gets will vary in quality from a "legend" down to a "greenhorn." Each figure has four attributes: aim, melee, save, and hit points. Players roll for their hit points according to the character sheet (18 + 1-4 D6). Each figure should be given a name, and the player should make a note about its appearance so the figure can be easily picked out in a crowd.

SHeriff Bart: "Oh, baby. You are so talented. And, they are so dumb."

Weapons: Each outlaw is armed with the weapons modeled on the figure. All weapons are assumed to be fully loaded at the start of the battle: pistols have six shots, rifles have four shots, shotguns have two shots, and bows have ten shots. Players should draw a circle in the ammo section of the character sheet for each available shot. The figures do not have the ammunition to reload their weapons, so players should keep an accurate record of how many bullets they have left.

Sheriff Bart: "Don't just stand there clasping your hands in pain... How about a round of applause for The Waco Kid?"

The Deck: Each player should prepare one card for each figure (write the figure's name on the card) and one Wild Card (write the player or faction's name on the card). It's no fun waiting for your card to come up, so separate the cards into at least three decks, keeping the cards from each faction together in the same stack. For example if you have factions A, B, C, D, E, F, and G put the cards for A - C in one stack, D - E in another, and F - G in a third stack. Shuffle them before each turn. Turn one card over from each stack. These figures act simultaneously, but attacks always come before movement. If the card has the name of a figure, that figure gets one action. If it's a wildcard the player can choose ONE of their figures to get the action. Typically an action will be to EITHER move or attack. Turn the cards over as rapidly as possible. Keep the action lively. Sometimes, in all the excitement, a player will miss one of his cards. Allow the player to take his action at the end of the turn. The referee should prepare three cards: Employees (for the owner, guards, bartenders, and the bear), Bystanders (for the photographer, doctor, Mongo, and other bystanders), and Law & Order (for the sheriff, his deputies, and the Christian Women's Temperance League, and the US cavalry). The referees cards should be mixed in with the players cards. It doesn't matter which stack, try to keep the number of cards in each stack about even. When one of the referee's cards some up ALL of the figures on that card get one action.

Hedley Lamarr: "Unfortunately there is one thing standing between me and that property - the rightful owners."

Shooting: A figure may fire at any other figure it can see and that is in range (see the combat chart). Other figures do not block line of sight, but there is a chance that a stray bullet will hit someone else. The figure may not move (other than to change facing) and attack, the figure must already be in position to attack. The figure may use any available weapon that has ammunition; it does not take an action to switch weapons. To execute the attack the figure must roll less than or equal to his aim number on a D20. If the target is at long range then the figure must roll less than half of his aim number (round down). If successful the target takes damage - look at the combat chart for the correct number of dice to roll. Each weapon may fire one bullet or arrow per action (exception: shotguns). A figure may fire two weapons if he has them. The second weapon hits only if the roll is less than or equal to half of the aim number. Some characters may have special abilities and are exceptions to this rule.

Stray Bullets: If a figure shoots and misses the bullet or arrow may hit someone else. Trace the line of fire from the firer to the target and beyond. Any figure whose base is directly in the path of fire may be hit. Each figure in the way must pass a saving roll (less than or equal to its save number on a D20) or it takes the bullet and the damage. Start with the figure that is closest to the shooter. If that figure passes the check then the next figure must roll. Continue until someone is hit, or all the figures in the line of fire have been tested. Too many stray bullet checks will slow down the game, so only check figures that really are in the direct line of fire.

Shotguns: Shotguns do not require a roll to hit. They will hit automatically, but the target gets a chance to save to reduce the damage. If the shot is close range then a save will result in half damage. At long range a successful save results in no damage. The shotgun can hit more than one target. Assume the weapon effects figures in a cone about 45 degrees wide. It can hit two figures standing next to each other at close range, and up to three figures at long range. Shotguns have two barrels. The barrels may be fired one at a time, or both simultaneously.

Reloads: If a figure has access to additional ammunition he can load up to three bullets or shells in one action.

Hedley Lamarr: "My mind is a-glow with whirling transient nodes of thought, careening through a cosmic vapor of invention."

Movement: A figure may move 6" in one action. The figure may follow any path as long as it isn't more than 6". The figure may end his movement facing any direction he wishes. If the base of the figure crosses any inanimate obstacles, such as jumping over the bar or stepping over a dead body, he must pass a saving throw (roll less than or equal to his save number) to avoid falling. If a figure falls it is tipped over and placed on the other side of the obstacle. The figure must use its next action to get up. A figure may not pass another figure if there isn't a gap equal to the figure's base. This rule allows outlaws to block doors and trap opponents in corners. Once a figure leaves the saloon it may not return.

Taggart: "What in the wide, wide world of sports's a-goin' on here?!"

Stunts: A player may want his outlaw to perform some kind of stunt, like jumping off the balcony onto the back of an opponent, or vaulting off a table and drop kicking the sheriff. These maneuvers should always be encouraged, they're fun. Figures attempting a stunt of some kind must pass a saving roll on a D20or they fall. If it seems appropriate, a figure failing the saving roll may take 1D6 damage in addition to falling. Exceptionally difficult or ridiculous stunts may require the figure to roll less than half of his save number, at the discretion of the referee. The referee should decide what effect the stunt has on any opponents. Typical benefits of a successful stunt are getting an extra 1D6 of damage, or forcing the target to pass a saving roll to avoid being knocked down.

Jumping through Windows: Sooner or later a player will want to jump through a window. The safe way to do this is to spend one action smashing the glass. On the next action the player may exit without any difficulty, carrying their loot (provided the loot isn't a large object like a mule or a dance hall girl). The dangerous way is to simply run up and jump through the glass like a Hollywood stuntman. This maneuver requires a successful saving roll. If the figure fails he falls down INSIDE the saloon and takes 1D6 damage. The good news is that now the window has been properly smashed, so after the figure gets up it can exit the window without another saving roll. The windows in the bedroom where the bear and strong box are located are stoutly barred; so don't even think about trying to escape that way.

Buddy Bizarre: "Not the face! Not the face! *Ooof* Thank you."

Melee: A figure must be within arm's reach (about ½ inch) to attack another figure in melee. The figure may not move (other than to change facing) and attack, the figure must already be in position to attack. The figure may use any available weapon; it does not take an action to switch weapons. To execute the attack the figure must roll less than or equal to its melee number on a D20. If successful the target takes damage - look at the combat chart for the correct number of dice to roll. The line in the chart for "hand weapon" includes any melee weapon more dangerous than a knife, such as a saber, tomahawk, machete, or war club. A figure may attack with two melee weapons if it has them (but not one weapon and a fist, or two fists). The second weapon hits only if the roll is less than or equal to half of the melee number. Some characters (usually Chinese) have special melee abilities and are exceptions to this rule.

The Waco Kid: "I must of killed more men than Cecil B. De Mille."

He's Dead Jim: When a figure runs out of hit points it dies. The figure should be replaced with a casualty marker. Dead bodies, and the pools of blood that accompany them, are obstacles. If a moving figure crosses a dead body it must pass a saving throw to avoid falling down.

Winning the Game: At the end of the game the player with the most victory points is the winner. There are a lot of different ways that a player can get victory points. This was done deliberately, so each person can play the kind of game they like. Some players will blaze away at anything that moves, other players are goal oriented and will try to grab valuable items without getting mixed up in a gunfight. IMPORTANT: make sure the players keep track of their victory points during the game.

Hedley Lamarr: "My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought, cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives."

Non-Player Characters: There are quite a few figures in the saloon that are controlled by the referee. Their stats are in the referee's character sheet. Nobody cares if they live or die, so they have just one number that they use for aim, melee, and saves. If a player is unfortunate enough to lose all of his figures early in the game the referee should allow him to control some of these non-player characters, such as the US cavalry, or the sheriff and his deputies.

The Owner: Gristly Adams was a mountain man before building the saloon. His Indian name was Sleeps With Bear, or Sleepy Bear for short (hence the name of the saloon). But don't get the wrong idea, he and the bear were just good friends, it was a Platonic relationship. One day he got lucky and found some gold in the hills. He returned to civilization and built a saloon and gambling parlor. He starts the game in his office with a loaded shotgun.

The Waco Kid: "If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad. "

The Bear: The bear guarding the strong box is sleeping (maybe). When a figure enters the bedroom he must draw a Bear Card. The card will reveal just how deeply the bear is sleeping. Follow the directions on the card (see the Bear Cards for full details). If the bear wakes up it will attack. If the bear continues to sleep the player will have to draw another Bear Card each time he performs an action in the room. If the figure escapes the room without waking the bear then the bear will wake up automatically the next time it's card comes up, and it will go out into the saloon and attack the first person it sees (except for the saloon's owner). The bear attacks three times per action. It will try to bite for 2D6 damage, and try to claw twice for 1D6+1. If both claws hit the victim is in a bear hug and must pass a saving throw on their next action to escape. They may not move or attack until they escape. If the victim is still in the bear hug when the bear gets its next action all three of its attacks will hit automatically. Don't wake up the bear!

Guards & Employees: The exact number and location of the employees and guards is not important. I normally start with a pit boss in the gambling area with a pistol, another pistol armed guard in front of the executive poker game, and shotgun armed guards near the stage and behind the bar. I also have three or four unarmed waiters and waitresses and a few Mexicans with machetes in the kitchen.

The Waco Kid: "You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers, these are people of the land, the common clay of the new west. You know . . . morons."

Innocent Bystanders: Lili the dancehall girl is on the stage with a fiddler. Mongo is in the boxing ring. The doctor is next to the boxing ring. The photographer and reporter are at the front center of the saloon. Three card players are in the executive poker room. Two prospectors are at one of the tables in the bar with their mule. Scatter a few additional unarmed bystanders around the saloon.

Reverend Johnson: "Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving."

The Christian Women's Temperance League: The ladies have run out of patience. They could tolerate (barely) the killing, whoring, drinking, and gambling that went on in the saloon. But now the saloon has gone too far - bringing in a pool table. Everyone knows that starts with "P" which rhymes with "T" which stands for TROUBLE. The ladies plan to tear the saloon apart, starting with the pool table. The league should include 5 - 7 ladies armed with parasols, scalding hot tea, farm implements (especially hoes), sharp tongues, and a shotgun. Parasols inflict ½ D6 damage. Figures scalded with hot tea must pass a saving throw or they will lose their next action (temporarily blinded). Assemble the ladies outside the doors of the gambling area on turn one. Move them into the saloon when their card comes up on turn two. On turn three they should begin a march to the pool table. After overturning it they will attack the nearest outlaws.

The Waco Kid: "What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?"

The Sheriff & his Deputies: The sheriff has a pistol, one of his deputies has a shotgun, and the other one has a rifle. Place them outside one of the doors on turn four (roll randomly, or choose). Move them inside the saloon when their card comes up on turn four. During the next turn they should start attacking outlaws.

F Troop: At the start of turn seven tell the players they hear the bugle of the US Cavalry. The cavalry troop should include 7 - 10 rifle armed troopers including an officer with a pistol. They should enter the saloon when their card is pulled on turn seven (enter through one of the front doors). They will begin shooting outlaws on the following turn.

Victory Points - Referee's Information: In general a player must escape with an item in order to earn the victory points for stealing it.

Mother Lode: The bar owner has a strong box full of gold nuggets. The strong box is located in the back bedroom. A sleeping bear is "guarding" the strong box. The windows in the bedroom are barred. The saloon's owner will do everything he can to protect the gold.

Hedley Lamarr: "Gentlemen, please. Rest your sphincters."

Executive Game: There's a private poker game going on with loads of money on the table. The poker game is taking place in the small room in the corner of the gambling floor. An armed guard is posted at the door; the men inside the room are unarmed and will hand over the money if the guard is eliminated. Use a satchel bag or other small token to represent the money.

Lili von Shtupp: "Is that a ten-gallon hat, or are you just enjoying the show?"

Good Women are hard to find: Lili von Shtupp the dance hall girl has many wealthy admirers who would pay her ransom if she were kidnapped. She is on the stage, with an armed guard ready to protect her. She also has a fiddle player with her, but he'll run or hide at the first sign of trouble. Lili won't fight, but she also won't go willingly. It takes one action for a figure to grab her. A player dragging her to the door must roll 1D6 to determine how many inches he can move her each action. Players can fight for control of Lili. To do this the attacker must make a successful melee roll. If the roll is successful the defender takes no damage, but he must pass a saving roll or the attacker has seized control of Lili.

Gold Fever: The foolish prospectors brought their gold into the saloon with them; it's in the mule's pack. The two prospectors will defend themselves and the mule. They are armed with a hammer and shovel (hand weapons). The mule is ornery so he will also attack - bite for 1D6 if a target approaches him from the front, kick for 2D6 if an attacker approaches from behind. The Mule will stop attacking if both prospectors are killed, but he will resist attempts to lead him to the door. A player must roll 1D6 each action to determine how far the mule can be dragged. A player can spend an action to remove the mule's pack, and the pack can then be carried at the usual 6" per action.

The Waco Kid: "Well, Mongo ain't exactly a "who," he's more of a "what.""

Mongo: Mongo is the baddest man in the whole damn town. He will stay in the boxing ring and take on anyone that approaches him. He has the special ability to attack twice each action with his fists, rolling against his full melee number with both attacks.

Lyle: "Don't pay no attention to that alchey. He can't even hold a gun, much less shoot it."

Rot Gut: Steal a case of whiskey for 5 victory points. Four cases of whiskey are stacked up on each side of the bar. A figure can only carry one case.

Make You Famous: A photographer and reporter from Back East are in town writing stories about the Legends of the West. A player wishing to earn victory points for having their picture taken must first move into position in front of the camera. Then the player must spend an action "posing." After this is accomplished, the photographer will take the picture the next time he gets an action. Players get five points for each figure in the picture, but each figure may only earn the points once per game. Obviously if something unfortunate (murder) happens to the photographer before he takes the picture the "posers" will not get any victory points.

Old Lady: "Have you ever seen such cruelty?"

Another Notch: Two victory points for killing a rival outlaw, innocent bystander, or saloon employee. Unarmed innocent bystanders with nothing useful to do should head for the exits when the shooting starts.

Taggart: "There's a new sheriff in town. Who wants to kill him?"

I Shot the Sheriff: Three groups representing law and order will enter the saloon. On turn three the Christian Women's Temperance League will arrive. On turn four the sheriff and two deputies will enter the saloon. On turn seven the US cavalry will finally show up. The turn before the faction arrives you should place the figures outside the door so the players know what's coming. When the faction's card comes up move them inside the door. On the following turn they move move and attack normally. Adjust the number of figures in the factions, and their arrival time depending on the number of players in your game.

What's Up Doc?: The doctor will do his best to patch up your bullet holes if you are standing next to him and ask nicely. Be warned that the doctor is a drunken old fool, and the cure may be worse than the disease. A figure that wants some doctoring must move next to the doctor figure (or a kind referee may be persuaded to move the doctor to the wounded figure). When the doctor's card comes up the player is given the Doctoring Deck, which he should shuffle, then draw one card. The results of the doctoring are applied immediately. Naturally a figure may not end up with more hit points than they had at the start of the game. The Doctor's not that good! Most of the results are self-explanatory (see the Doctoring Deck for the details). If the figure gets the "too much ether" card he is rendered unconscious. The figure must roll a D6 each time he gets an action. On the first action he wakes up on a roll of 6, on the second action he wakes up on a 5-6, etc. The figure rolls once each time he gets an action until he wakes up. When the figure wakes up he gets to his feet, but may take no other action until his card comes up again. Each figure may only be doctored once per game.

Sheriff Bart: "Excuse me while I whip this out."

From My Cold Dead Hands: Loaded guns and extra ammo are available at the gun rack. I have four rifles that I place next to the gun rack. Players may take and use them. Do not allow players to take guns from other players, or pick up weapons from dead figures. This will lead to confusion and arguments. The gun rack is the only way to get additional firepower. Assume that the rack has the right ammunition for any gun that a player carries. Sorry, there aren't any arrows in the gun rack.

Victory Points - Players Information (print this on the back of the character sheets)

Mother Lode: The bar owner has a strong box full of gold nuggets. Steal it for 25 points.

Executive Game: There's a private poker game going on with loads of money on the table. Stealing the money is worth 15 Victory Points.

Good Women are hard to find: Lili von Shtupp the dance hall girl has many wealthy admirers who would pay her ransom if she were kidnapped. 15 points (0 if she's killed) for abducting her, kidnappers dragging Lili towards the door move 1D6 inches per action.

Gold Fever: The foolish prospectors brought their gold to the saloon with them; it's in the mule's pack. Steal it for 15 points.

Mongo: Mongo is the baddest man in the whole damn town. Whoever lands the fatal blow in melee gets 10 victory points. However if the killer is himself killed in melee by another outlaw, that outlaw steals the 10 points. An outlaw must escape the saloon or the 10 points are still up for grabs.

Rot Gut: Steal a case of whiskey for 5 victory points.

Make You Famous: A photographer and reporter from Back East are in town writing stories about the Legends of the West. 5 Victory Points for having your picture taken. You must move in front of the camera and spend an action posing.

Another Notch: Two victory points for killing a rival outlaw, innocent bystander, or saloon employee. 2 Victory Points

I Shot the Sheriff: Killing the sheriff, a deputy, Cavalry trooper, or other symbols of authority 4 Victory Points (5 for the sheriff and Cavalry officer).

What's Up Doc?: The doctor will do his best to patch up your bullet holes if you are standing next to him and ask nicely.

From My Cold Dead Hands: Loaded guns and extra ammo are available at the gun rack.

Character Sheet

Name
Appearance
Rating	Legend	Gunslinger	Desperado	Greenhorn
Aim	14	12	10	8
Melee	14	10	12	8
Save	14	12	10	8
Hit Points 18 + 4/3/2/1 D6
Weapons
Ammo

Ammo: pistol 6 shots, rifle 4 shots, shotgun 2 shots, bows 8 shots

Weapon Chart

Weapon	Range / Damage
Pistol	Short Range (<6") 3D6 Long Range (<20")2D6
Rifle	Short Range (12") 4D6 Long Range (30") 3D6
Shotgun (per barrel)*	Short Range (<5") 3D6 Long Range (<10") 2D6
Bow	Short Range (<6") 3D6 Long Range (<20") 2D6
Hand Weapon	2D6
Knife	1D6+1
Fist	1D6
Thrown Object	Short Range (<6") 1D6 Long Range (<12") D6
Swung Chair	1D6 and Fall
Jump on Someone	1D6 and Fall
Shove	Back up 2 "

*Shotgun: S range save for ½ damage, at L range save for no damage

Referee's Character Sheet

Name	Owner	Employees & Bystanders	Women	Mongo	Bear	Sheriff	Deputies	Cavalry Officer	Cavalry Troopers
Skill	12	8	8	12	10	12	8	12	8
Hit Points	20	15	10	40	50	24	18	24	18

Bear Cards: Download these Microsoft Word files formatted to print on standard business cards: Bear Front.doc Bear Back.doc or make your own - include these cards (number of each card in deck indicated in parentheses):
(2) Bearly Asleep: The bear wakes up on a roll of 1-5
(2) Light Nap: The bear wakes up on a roll of 1-4
(2) Dozing: The bear wakes up on a roll of 1-3
(2) Sound Asleep: The bear wakes up on a roll of 1-2
(1) It's Dinner Time: The bear wakes up immediately.
(1) Deep Sleep: The bear wakes up on a roll of 1

Doctor Cards: Download these Microsoft Word files formatted to print on standard business cards: Doctor Front.doc Doctor Back.doc or make your own - include these cards (number of each card in deck indicated in parentheses):
(3) Clean Bandages and a Shot of Whiskey: The good doctor has bandaged your wound. You get back 1D6 hit points
(1) Too Much Ether - Whoops, the old fool gave you too much ether and now you're unconscious. Hopefully you'll wake up before someone finishes you off.
(2) Fumble Fingers - Too much whiskey has made his hands unsteady, and he accidentally makes your wound worse. Lose 1D6 hit points.
(2) Call me in the Morning - The doctor sadly reports that there's nothing he can do for you. Take two aspirin and call him in the morning.
(2) Emergency Surgery - The doctor has greatly improved your health. You get back 2D6 hit points.

Battle Report

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First Game: The Dusters employed an unusual strategy - sneaking up on innocent bystanders and shooting them. This worked for a while, but soon the bystanders realized what was happening and began to fight back. The Southerners tried to strike a deal with some of the other outlaw teams. Then they lured the owner out of his office and shot him, starting a shoot out with the other bar employees. The Southerners won that gunfight, and seized control of the gun cabinet, providing them with additional firepower and ammunition.

The Pistoleros moved immediately to abduct Lili, the dance hall girl. They quickly dealt with her bodyguard and whisked her out of the bar. Then, for good measure, they kidnapped one of the bar maids. The Cowboys visited the photographer for a picture, and then tried to rob the prospectors. They succeeded in eliminating both of the prospectors, but the mule turned ornery. Several mule kicks and bites later they had the gold and escaped with it.

The Chinese sent their best man, Rayden, to challenge Mongo, the saloon's bare knuckles champion. After a brutal fight Rayden emerged victorious. As the Chinese celebrated their victory the Christian Women's Temperance League invaded the saloon, determined to destroy the pool table. Rayden attacked, vaulting off a table to deliver a vicious kick to one of the women. She was a tough old lady, though, and retaliated by blasting Rayden with both barrels of her shotgun. Gut shot, and bleeding heavily, Rayden had just enough strength to dispatch the lady before leaving the saloon. The other Chinese outlaws made short work of the Temperance League, then robbed the executive poker game.

The Indians had a subtle plan. Three Indians guarded the door while one of them snuck into the owner's bedroom where a dozing bear was guarding the money chest. Their stealth paid off, and they made off with the chest and three cases of whiskey, escaping out the back door. This gave them an impressive forty points; a score that they hoped would be enough to win the game. Back in the saloon the bear finally woke up and came charging out of the back room, attacking the first man it saw.

Finally the Sheriff showed up with his deputies. They put up a good fight before the guns of the Southerners and their allies wiped them out. The doctor attempted to help out one of the Southerners but he only made the wound worse. Given the choice of joining the gang or a bullet in the head he picked up a gun and threw in with the Southerners. It was just in time as the US cavalry arrived to restore order. A vicious firefight ensued, with the cavalry getting the worst of it. Eventually the Southerner's allies turned on them, but this still wasn't enough to stop them. The game ended and the points were tallied. The Southerners beat the Indians by a narrow margin.

Second Game: A couple of players stuck around to play again, so with the new players we had a very crowded saloon. Once again the Chinese challenged Mongo. They had him on the ropes when one of the Cowboys decided to back shoot the champ, robbing the Chinese of their victory points.

The Earps had settled in up on the balcony where they were content to watch the battle, as long as their drink orders were delivered on time. Their poor bar maid was forced to run a gauntlet of gun fire, stepping over numerous dead bodies to delivery their drinks, long after the rest of the staff had been killed or run away. Eventually her luck ran out and a stray bullet struck her down. The Earps were incensed and opened fire from the balcony, taking pot shots at anything that moved.

Three of the cowboys decided to have their picture taken. They got in position and held their pose while the photographer went through the long process of making the photograph. As they waited, frozen in their poses, the cowboys watched helplessly as one of the Mexicans walked up, smiled and waved, then shot the photographer. Another Mexican approached the gunslinger guarding the executive poker game. He offered to show the man a trick with his gun, which ended with the guard being shot through the heart. One of the cowboys rushed into the poker room, grabbed the money, and tried to jump through the window. Unfortunately he was too clumsy, and he ended up crashing to the floor amid a shower of broken glass. The Mexican was able to walk in, shoot him, pick up the money, and step through the broken window. David, who ran the Mexicans, was a highlight of game two with his quick wit and cheesy accent.

A brave Chinese outlaw ran into the owner's bedroom, grabbed the money chest, and made a run for it. He didn't make it. The owner blasted him with a shotgun as he ran by, and another outlaw was waiting outside the office to finish him off. The owner was able to recover the money chest and drag it back to safety while the bear, awakened by the gunfire, went on a rampage.

The cavalry arrived under the command of Bill Molyneaux, who had been knocked out of the game on an earlier turn. Bill knew what he was doing. The cavalry formed a skirmish line and began systematically picking off the outlaws. Anyone that raised a gun in their direction became their primary target. It wasn't long before order had been restored. Victory points were tallied and Mic was the winner.

Building a Western Saloon
By Matt Fritz

Introduction: I wanted to run a game that would take place entirely inside a wild west saloon and gambling parlor. I was envisioning a big Hollywood style barroom brawl and shoot out. I knew the saloon would have to be outrageously large so that there would be room for a fight involving 8 - 10 players. I also wanted it to be cheap, durable, look good, and be easy to break down and transport.

The Floor and Walkways: I bought a 2 x 4 piece of oak, ¼" thick at the local hardware store for $6. I cut this down to 24" x 28" with a power saw. That's a VERY large saloon. Use a smaller piece if you're going to run a game with fewer players and figures. I wanted the floor to look like wooden planks so I used a black ballpoint pen and a ruler to draw lines ¼" apart. This is hard on the pen, so use a cheap one. It also helps to have a large heavy ruler that will extend the full 28" and will stay in place while you are making the lines. I drew perpendicular lines at irregular intervals to separate the lines into planks. The wood was given a coat of Minwax polyurethane gloss coat. It's wise to test the ink and polyurethane together ahead of time to make sure they are compatible. In the movies you always see wooden plank walkways around the western buildings. I made walkways for the front and side of the saloon using the method described above on some thin pieces of balsa wood (1 1/2" wide).

Outside Walls: I cut pieces of foam core to the correct length to form walls around the floor (two pieces about 24" long, two pieces about 28" long, they surround the floor, they don't sit on top of it). I did a rather poor job of measuring the length of the foam core, but it isn't very noticeable when it's put together. The walls were 2 1/2 " high. I used foam core because I hoped it wouldn't warp when I glued the paper to it. It did warp a little, but not enough to cause a problem. I tried to rabbet the corners as described on the Major Gerneral's web site (zeitcom.com/majgen/39howst.html) so they would fit together nicely, but did a poor job of it. No matter, the fit is satisfactory when pinned together. At each corner a pair of pins, which are almost invisible, hold the two pieces of foam core together. I decided not to cut out openings for the windows and doors (I admit to being a coward). Instead these would be pasted onto the walls later. The walls can be quickly put together and taken apart, and they are carried in a long sturdy box that used to hold fluorescent light bulbs.

Exterior Walls: I decided that the outside of the tavern would be horizontal blue planking. I created a section of the wall on my computer using Adobe PhotoDeluxe. Other programs will do the job provided they have a ruler display you can use to help in drawing the lines. My planks were ¼" wide and 2 ¼" long. Once you make a section about 10" long (limited by the size of your paper) you can just copy it as many times as you need. I used the Copy and Paste function of the program to add windows and doors from one of the Add-On kits from Eric Hotz's Whitewash City paper buildings (www.erichotz.com). If you don't have the Add-On kit a search of free clip art sites should turn up some suitable doors and windows such these examples: door.gif, window.gif. The walls were printed onto 65 lb paper. I think it would work better on heavier paper. The paper walls were glued onto the foam core (three paper sections per wall) using Elmer's glue. I used a cheap plastic windshield scraper to smooth out any wrinkles, and I used some heavy books to press the pieces flat while the glue was drying. Red rectangular pieces of paper, representing support columns, were glued on to conceal the joints between the paper pieces. Download this file for the outside wall pattern: outside1.jpg

Interior Walls: Inside the saloon the walls have vertical wood paneling from the floor extending up 1", then there's red wallpaper. Again I created a section of wall on my computer. The wood paneling was 1/8" wide with some molding at the top and bottom. Windows and doors were added so that their positions would match the windows and doors on the outside. Remember that the bottom of the interior walls will be concealed, because the floor is ¼" thick, so mount the doors ¼" above the bottom of the interior walls. The walls were printed on 65 lb paper and glued to the foam core using the method described above. Brown columns were used to hide where the paper sections meet. Download this file for the interior wall pattern: inside1.jpg

Interior Rooms: I built my interior rooms from paper walls with the same wood and red wallpaper pattern as the interior walls. I eliminated the ¼" baseboard since the walls sit on top of the floor. I duplicated and flipped the wall sections so they would be double sided. After they were printed I scored the line between them, folded, and glued them together to create a wall with the same pattern on each side. Press the walls under some heavy books so they will be flat after the glue has dried. You can use a black magic marker to cover up the white that shows along the edges of the wall section. Once dry, I scored a fold line down the middle of the wall section and bent it to make a right angle. One of these right angle sections can be placed in a corner to form a room, and additional rooms can be built from there. This is very convenient because they aren't glued in place, making it easy to move, transport, and even rearrange them. Download this file for the Interior room pattern:interior.jpg

Balcony & Stairs: Constructing a balcony and stairs was a real challenge for a novice like me. The heart of the balcony was a box that was the right size. The walls of the balcony were made using the same design as the interior saloon walls. I drew the top of the balcony, railing, and stairs on my computer. I wasn't sure how the railing on the steps would fit together, so I made a long piece and cut it to size after printing. I used the usual method to put it together, scoring the fold lines and gluing with Elmer's. Download these files for the balcony and stairs: balcony.jpg stairs.jpg

Wall Accessories - Lamps, Signs, etc.: I found a nice looking gas lamp picture and modified it on my computer. These lamps were printed and glued onto the walls. If you are wise enough to plan ahead they can, of course, be digitally cut and pasted onto the walls on the computer, rather than doing it physically as I did. I also added some signs to the walls to add some color. I produced some of my own saying things like "Open" and "Dancing Girls" in Microsoft Word. Check out www.lonestarcowboygear.com/ and www.oldwestsigns.com/ for some inspiration.

The Stage: I found a nice picture of a stage curtain and added clip art pictures of columns to the ends. I put three columns at each end so they can be scored and folded to make a square corner. I didn't have a lot of room, so my columns were small and the curtain didn't stand up very well. I solved the problem by gluing a scrap of foam core to the back of the curtain and columns, hidden from view. The base of the stage is a cheap unfinished piece of wood (cut in half), which can be found at the craft store. Download this file for the stage curtain: curtain.jpg

Frontline Furniture: Frontline Wargaming (available from RLBPS) makes some nice 25mm resin furniture for the Wild West. The Hotel Lobby will provide two settees, a table, and two comfy chairs. The Saloon set will provide a bar, shelving, piano, two round tables and a pool table. I modified the shelving by installing a real mirror, and replacing the resin shot glasses with plastic ones (crystal bugle beads). The Sheriff's Office comes with a rifle rack, desk, chair, filing cabinet, and bed. Some of the other sets might also be useful.

Rectangular Tables, Roulette Table, and Benches: Rectangular tables were made with wood from the local arts and crafts store. Look around in the unfinished wood section for some cheap pieces that are about the right size. After trimming the wood (I rounded the edges on my tables) I used Krazy Glue to attach some legs and glue together some benches. Finish them off by painting them brown. I wanted to make a roulette table. I found pictures of a wheel and table I liked. I combined these graphics on my computer, printed it on paper, trimmed it to the right size, and glued it to one of the tables.

Potted Plants: I used some potted plants originally made for my pirate tavern to add some color. The pots were made from Lara's Crafts wooden "Mini Candle Cups," seven for 99 cents. I filled the tops with sculpey clay and baked them hard. I then drilled out a hole in each for the plant. I trimmed off some pieces of trees that had come off of a terrain piece from Scenic Terrains. They have plastic trunks and limbs with lichen glued to them. I glued the trunks into the holes I had drilled. The pots were painted terra cotta and the sculpey was painted brown. The trees tend to tip over rather easily which I don't see as much of a drawback (stuff happens when you have a brawl) but you can put some weight onto the bottoms.

Water Troughs: I designed some simple water troughs on my computer. These can be printed out, glued together, and put around the outside of the saloon.

Accessories - spittoons, shot glasses, crates: Some useful bits can be found at your local arts & crafts store. Lara's Crafts has a 12 pack of 3/8" wooden blocks ($0.88) that are the right size to represent a case of whiskey. I found a pack of 1/8" crystal bugle beads, which are the right size to represent shot glasses ($0.99 for a bag that'll last a lifetime). The beads are little clear cylinders and they tend to fall over. If that bothers you they can be glued onto the bars and tables, or several can be glued onto a piece of clear plastic transparency film. I used sculpey clay to fashion some spittoons. I'm a terrible sculptor, but I tried to make a round base and then attach a cone shaped piece to the top. After they were baked and painted I used my dremel rotary tool to grind the bases flat.

Round Tables: Round tables can be easily and cheaply constructed by purchasing a pack of Lara's Crafts 9/16" wooden flower pots (ten for $0.88). Turn them upside down and glue a thin round piece of wood on top and paint it. Thin round bits of wood are cheap and plentiful at the craft store. You can also make decent tables out of the round plastic things they stick on pizzas to keep the cheese from sticking to the box lid. After they're cleaned off you can cut the legs down and you'll be left with a good table. They tend to be rather large. I used them as my poker tables, painting the inside part green and the outside ring brown.

Boxing Ring: I constructed a boxing ring by cutting a square piece of illustration board. When I made the tables out of the plastic pizza thingies I had some left over plastic legs, which became the ring posts. I made the ring rope out of twine, using hot glue to anchor it to each post. A quick paint job and it was done.